ThisBelongsToMe..

This was my second EXO concert since I went for The EXO'luXion in Malaysia last year but the difference is that I manage to go for Rockzone last year but my pics & vids were all in such bad quality and this year I went for CAT 5 but got some major HD pics & vids loll thanks to my dad's Canon Powershot SX60 HS camera.

So, on 18th March 2017 me and my two friends checked in at Amigo Hotel at Chinatown since its the nearest hotel to Stadium Merdeka that we could find, it was RM116 per night so it was kinda a great deal for us three since we're only staying for a night in Kuala Lumpur. We checked in at about 12.30p.m. that day but instead of getting all excited & went straight to Stadium Merdeka, we chilled in our hotel room, went out for lunch near by, performed our prayers & actually slept in our hotel room xD HAHA we only went to the stadium at 6.00p.m. or so. well, its not that we weren't excited about the concert, it was because of the weather. I've checked that it was gonna rain heavily that day and it really did. The fans that were already queuing up since morning were obviously soaked there while we were snuggling in our hotel bed.

It started off with MAMA xD tbh.. i don't really listen to that song on a daily basis ever since they debut but I would go crazy on it when they perform it at any award stage or concerts loll then they continued with some other songs but I can't remember the order tho I think it was 'White Noise' (i don't listen to this song often too) then 'Thunder' (totally my jam) , 'Playboy' & 'Artificial Love' noww I donno about you, but 'Artificial Love' stage is just too much for me to take in.. like have you watched they perform that song?!! its just... speechless.. I didn't record the performance for 'Artificial Love' tho its just feels sinful hahahahaha but I got some part of playboy;

Afterwards, they performed 'Unfair' this song is totally one of my jams too loll then that part when Xiumin literally said "Apa khabar? Awak suka? Betulkah? Ikut sayaaa" totally screwed us all xD it was so demmm cute!! I cried loll & did I mention that Suho was talking to us in full english?! goshh that's definitely so much effort tho he's the only one introducing himself in full english & even interacted with the fans in english. when we wanted to sing for Minseok birthday song, Suho kept on saying "Malaysia, calm down, calm down" lolll :') he's da best leader! im so proud.

They also performed so many other songs like 'What If', 'Tender Love', 'Love Me Right' and 'One and Only' you could watch it all on my YouTube channel just click on this; @amirahshahrin Then they sang more happy songs like '3.6.5' and 'Heaven' the song performance slowly builds up to much hyper performance later, I really recommend you to watch the 'Transformer' and 'Lightsaber' videos ㅠㅠ its just so.. ughhh.. suddenly it turned out to be a rave party lolll when they performed 'Do It Together' & 'Drop That' didn't manage to record much tho (since I kinda lost my mind atm)

During the ment in between they even sang some confession songs, Suho sang 'Curtain' was the part I remembered the most, that song is so good (even better live!) but just so underrated! Jongin also lost his mind acting all cute with his confession song, I bet it was because of the heat that made him like that but I don't have the vids tho sorry xD They also performed 'Run', 'Growl' and 'Lucky One' and ended it with a ment :') the concert was like 3 hours long hahahaha and since I'm busy multi-tasking; recording, taking pics, singing and screaming all at the same time xD so it felt so short! lmao

I just had to share this pics with you guys tho hahaha if you're wondering who's my bias well its definitely LUHAN but then.. I had to change to a new bias :') and that will be OH SEHUN he's my bias wrecker ever since and noww managed to climb up my bias list loll xD

well that just sums up everything! hope you guys enjoyed the sharing and all the videos & pictures :) Also, let's start saving up for the next EXO invasion in Malaysia loll and we can meet xD

people say its a common thing that happens to students when they started their social life in school.. some people just brushed it off their shoulders when someone is breaking down of being bullied and said "hey! man up and just endure it" some would just say, "ouh come on, grow up. just ignore all those naysayers" well, try to get bullied and say that to yourself. if you have been bullied and got through it well kudos to you! because I got out of it too. well I donno about you, but my scars still remained tho and sometimes it hits me back from time to time and its very toxic to me.

well, since I actually managed to get through it, I would always tell myself to just laugh it all and think how foolish we all were back then when we were just 14 years old and so immature.. but I'll end up shattering internally because I'm aware of how literally tragic it was for a 14 years old me to face such attack.. its not even funny tbh.. when you're being bashed & criticized and even aware of how the teachers react when they encounter you and said "ouh, you're the kid everyone's talking about" and all you can do is just smile and smile and smile and smile.

when they called out names, I would act tough and ignorant and just walk. when they publicly trash talk me, I would just smile and ignore. when even some of my friends turned their back on me, I would just tell myself its fine. I was the "fight back" type back then. when the whole incident started I didn't keep quiet, I actually fought back. the fact that I fought back made the whole situation worst. I'm not gonna play victim in this. I admit that I have a part to be blame in the whole situation since people find me impulsive, and how my actions made them feel 'triggered'.

In the end, everything got resolved. Everyone said sorry, I said sorry, but you know, things wouldn't be the same. I lived my life, I get through it, I had my support system, I had my families, I had my friends who stayed, I had seniors who cared, I had faith that God is just testing me or punishing me for the wrongs I've done. thus, I was able to hang in there. I was very thankful and grateful to have all these supports around me. Still, it would be a lie to say that I wouldn't take all of it at heart and could easily brushed it off my mind. Sometimes you can forgive but you can't forget, especially when you're psychologically, mentally, internally damaged.

Having self-confidence in the first place is already hard on its own. But having it, and got it crashed and trying to re-build it again are just so much effort. Do you know how hard it was to cope when going to a new place and wanting to start anew but because of that deep scar you had, you can't? Getting into college, I was socially scared, I was scared of making friends, I was scared of how I would be treated, I was scared of the opposite sex. I fought with myself, should I just be the extroverted me which I used to be? Should I just keep my mouth shut and don't bother making friends ? Do people even want to be friends with me? What if I start socializing and the past repeats itself? But I know I couldn't live my life being all anxious and scared. So I tried. I gave it another chance, and I was blessed with all the great friends I have now and of course more blessed by the friends I had in school. I got through it, but that was me.

How about the ones who don't? The ones that do not have any support system. How much mental pressure can you think a person can cope? we're just human, we have limits. There are people out there with some serious social anxiety, serious depression, who would cut and hurt themselves from the impact of being bullied and not socially accepted. If you think that they are just some immature, unfaithful to God and ridiculous kind of people, then you might want to reflect yourself. If you were to be placed in such situation could you handle it? but if you still feel all that ignorant, then wait till it happens to yourself or your family or your friends or your child, then tell me if it is still just some immature jokes to be laughed off at.

"when will you come here and visit me?!", "i'll come soon, i miss you too" that's how the skype call ended. "woww, you're really close with your sister, me and my sister always fight especially when we wore each others clothes without permission" as they conversed, there i am just sitting at the corner and smiling with the so-happy-for-yall face. lmao. being the only daughter with four brothers tho how would i know how it feels like to have a sister.

i'm definitely not the type to go out for shopping/window shopping or wear jewelries/accessories or any lipstick (or whatever makeup besides a compact powder & maybe some basic toner) hahaha i don't even know how to wear a shawl until i was like 18 y/o & that even took me like forever to learn & wrap that thing around me (i didn't even know that there's so many types of shawl in thiz world!)

mostly said that their sisters are like their bestfriend, where they would share their problems with and get advices on life :') but not having a sister is not that bad for me, i have my mom as a bestfriend tho although i would always get jealous especially in high school when my friends would tell stories about their sisters but i'm fine noww.

well, thanks to my borthers i've developed such a tough character like i'm not gonna scream my life out if there's a cockroach passing by or get startled when the lighting strike or ran back crying when someone picked on me. i even had to change kindergarten since i'm always picking fights with guys. lmao.

just felt like venting it all out, the need to type and let the world know on how hard it is dealing with your inner-self and the outside world. Sometimes I think this is just a mere problem caused by overthinking, but I still got it stuck in my head everyday.

"you gotta learn to love yourself and don't let what others think, hurt you" how do you do that tho? like living in a community, how do you avoid the crowd and pretend to be deaf and not get affected by what they're saying? its a common thing for a person to be feeling that they are socially accepted. you're not placed in a community to be living alone. you're conscious and aware of what's happening. how different you were treated as compared to your friends.

"don't think so low of yourself, you're way better than that" such sayings are so comforting to hear but so hard to do. you can't not think. you think everyday and everytime. especially when you're receiving hate comments from someone who you don't even know who, but they know you. when something like that happens, of course you would be reflecting at the end of the day on what did you done wrong? worst, you don't even know what went wrong?

"looks doesn't matter, its the inner beauty that's important" yeah right. as if. you're living in such hypocrite life if you keep throwing words like that to people. no matter how much you bash and trash talk on how woman wear thick make-up, how anorexic their life-style could be to be fitting in such clothes. yet, at the end of the day, if you were to be approach by a gorgeous looking-slim-slender-friendly-nice stranger and a not gorgeous-oversized-friendly-nice, you would still choose the first stranger instead of the latter.

its kinda hard to be so positive everyday, sometimes you just feel like the world is against you although its not. when your friends said that you're just great as you are yet you just felt pathetic. i must say overthinking is the main reason to it and probably ungratefulness; as in i'm not being grateful enough with my life, keep on comparing it with others and also probably the greediness; of wanting to be socially accepted when at the end of the day, you just can't satisfy everyone. lmao. sad life.