Its been so long since I last wrote and today is just another day when I feel like so. I always have this fear of not fitting in with people whenever I go to a new place but at that same time having this thought of I'm gonna be so attached to them in the end. When I transitioned from high school to IB school I had that same two distinct thoughts "How am I gonna fit in?" and "Bet I'm gonna be attached to them in no time". In the end, the latter thought overshadowed my prior fear and I think it was possible by giving ourselves and other people a chance. The chance for us to get to know other people and for other people to get to know us.
Going to college far away from home (9000 miles to be exact) the same fear surged and my first few weeks were quite hard for me. The only new girl as a transfer in the Malaysian community. The only new person to move in into a house in which my other housemates were already friends even before they came here. I felt so out of place. I have a few friends that I knew since my IB school but it would feel like a burden to be asking them to hangout with me all the time as I understand that they already had their own circle of good friends here.
As usual, my own fear and insecurities killed me at first. I kept telling myself to pull through but it just seems that it's not the right piece of the puzzle to fit. Someone told me to "fake it till you make it!" and it made me realize that I just have to start giving myself a chance to go out of my comfort zone and just keep trying to reach out to people, and giving them a chance to get to know me. I'm aware that I'm more of an extrovert but it has always been hard for me to start off a conversation. Thus, whenever someone talked to me first I would try to engage in that conversation for as long as I can.
Also, it was a bit hard adjusting with my housemates at first since our personality style clashes but everything just fell into places as time goes by and everyone seems to be putting effort to get to know each other. A simple "How was your there?" and "Haven't seen you all day" when we passed each other in the kitchen or the living room. We were able to give ourselves a chance to be close to each other. Eventually, I have made some good friends and am looking forward to getting to know more about other people and am very grateful to be with my current housemates.
It may seem to be easier said than done since it's not easy for some people to just open up with the new people they just met. Giving ourselves a chance to know new people doesn't necessarily mean that we should share our deep darkest secret with them when we just barely knew each other but just a simple "Hi, nice to meet you". That simple greeting would've cut short some distance between that person and us. On the other hand, when other people reached out to us first, we should give them a chance to get to know us. Although living through college we would lose friends and the people that we befriended on day one may not be that same friend through the semester but finding that few true friends were only possible when we gave ourselves and them a chance in the first place.
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