just felt like venting it all out, the need to type and let the world know on how hard it is dealing with your inner-self and the outside world. Sometimes I think this is just a mere problem caused by overthinking, but I still got it stuck in my head everyday.
"you gotta learn to love yourself and don't let what others think, hurt you" how do you do that tho? like living in a community, how do you avoid the crowd and pretend to be deaf and not get affected by what they're saying? its a common thing for a person to be feeling that they are socially accepted. you're not placed in a community to be living alone. you're conscious and aware of what's happening. how different you were treated as compared to your friends.
"don't think so low of yourself, you're way better than that" such sayings are so comforting to hear but so hard to do. you can't not think. you think everyday and everytime. especially when you're receiving hate comments from someone who you don't even know who, but they know you. when something like that happens, of course you would be reflecting at the end of the day on what did you done wrong? worst, you don't even know what went wrong?
"looks doesn't matter, its the inner beauty that's important" yeah right. as if. you're living in such hypocrite life if you keep throwing words like that to people. no matter how much you bash and trash talk on how woman wear thick make-up, how anorexic their life-style could be to be fitting in such clothes. yet, at the end of the day, if you were to be approach by a gorgeous looking-slim-slender-friendly-nice stranger and a not gorgeous-oversized-friendly-nice, you would still choose the first stranger instead of the latter.
its kinda hard to be so positive everyday, sometimes you just feel like the world is against you although its not. when your friends said that you're just great as you are yet you just felt pathetic. i must say overthinking is the main reason to it and probably ungratefulness; as in i'm not being grateful enough with my life, keep on comparing it with others and also probably the greediness; of wanting to be socially accepted when at the end of the day, you just can't satisfy everyone. lmao. sad life.
