ThisBelongsToMe..

Just some late night thoughts... everytime when the facebook memories came across my home feed I would always laugh looking at how immature my facebook status' used to be, then I would screenshot it and share it with my bestfriend and tell her, "hey, look at how immature I used to be!" the conversation goes on and in between those convos there would always be 'its time to grow up!' saying that we told each other.

Then, just now my class chat back in my IB days went down on memory lane, they shared a picture of when we used to sit at the basketball court till dawn playing a mobile game called 'werewolf' but I wasn't in the picture. I wasn't there because I was sulking somewhere getting angry at my classmates because they teased me about something having to do with my long-unrequited-crush loll. And again I said in the group chat just now, "well I was immature at that time" and I tell myself, "its time to grow up!" When is actually the time to grow up was suppose to happen? I said that last year, and I said it earlier this year and I just said it just now. I bet a year from now I would be re-reading this blog post & tell myself, "Wow, my blog posts were so immature, its time to grow up!"

In my opinion, there's no exact time as to when you need to grow up and be mature. As you live and experience life, that's when you're growing and maturing. It is something that happens everyday. There's no need to be so hard on yourself looking back to the days that you've made reckless mistakes and regret for not being good enough or telling yourself that you should've grown up and be more mature. Going through those things in life is what make you mature today and living through today will make you more mature the next day.

So don't be afraid to make mistake in life and don't look back to your past and regret the things that happened. Because life is a journey, a journey means it's something that keeps going and has no end. The end is when you're no longer living your life. So during this journey of life you'll grow and mature by learning from the things that you've gone through.

These days everything said or done by others are just so relatable to me in a sense of that one-sided feeling. lmao we had our English class today and learned about writing on compare and contrast essay. The lecture goes on as usual with the lecture, hitting on the slides explaining on how we should write our compare and contrast essay. That usual structure with the introduction and conclusion part and writing the body as in point-by-point method or the block method.

But then she explains on the usage of connectors that could be use in our essays so that there are coherence in between the paragraphs that we will write. As usual that common usage of 'however', 'furthermore', 'in addition' but then she stopped at 'nevertheless' and asked us "do you know what 'nevertheless' means?" well obviously most of us know the usage of it. So everyone just stared at her  with the 'duhh' face but still she insisted on explaining. "Nevertheless; its like no matter how hard you try to do something the results are still the same." she gave us a sentence as an example; "She had undergo plastic surgeries for many times; nevertheless, she still looks the same."

"Nevertheless; its like no matter how hard you try to do something the results are still the same." somehow the way she explains it caught me into thoughts as i would interpret it as, its the same thing as being on a one-sided feeling towards someone for a long time. When you've been on a one-sided feeling for a long time, you tend to have this nevertheless perspective of no matter how hard you try to do something the results are still the same, you're still on that one-sided zone that can't be crossed hahaha #sadlyfe well to be exact, sometimes you felt like you could actually cross that line tho i mean being acknowledge is good enough right? lmao or is it not. But anyways, i think this is gonna be like my favorite word of the year 'nevertheless' its just so relatable :")

if you're actually reading this post up to this paragraph, i would really like to thank you as i felt really honored xD so honored that you actually took the time to read on my two cents of what i felt during my English class today loll i bet this has got nothing to do with your life bhahaha so yeah people, please don't live your life with that nevertheless perspective. you should at least have faith and keep believing that good things will come as you keep trying and waiting :) as they say that;

p/s: been so long since i actually wrote something on this, sorry that it turns out to be such a crappy post on me being frustrated of having a one-sided feeling hahahahaha