ThisBelongsToMe..

yeah.. i agree.. you know, whatever we do. no matter what we're facing. we gotta believe in our-self be confident! they say. so why bother shading off those fat? just be confident with yourself :)  that's what some people told me... but BHAHAHA yeah right, life is not like in the movies or dramas you watch bruhh judgmental people everywhere.. either you're rich or you're poor. you're dead gorgeous or damn ugly. people would just talk about you it's either they're just jealous of the life you're having, or they actually cared about you or i donno... maybe just because they have mouth so they just felt like talking..

but being affected by what they say is your choice tho :) but in my case.. it's not like i started working out just because some people call me fat xD BHAHAHA lol just felt like i need to..for my future health. huhu but whatever people say, it's either you wanna take it in a positive way to help you improve or take it as a negative think and go ruin yourself. but remember tho, if what you're doing is actually wrong & you know it's wrong & you still wanna stick to the "i'm being myself" concept then don't go complaining to others saying you're sick of being judged. ^^ you chose it.


been seeing lots of "finding my old self" "i'm finding myself" status. but i don't think you have to search for the old you because what's in the past stays in the past, no need to try to be the old you. you can just start creating the new you :) if you think the old you is better than the you now then all you need to do is be a better you ^^ lel i know things are easier said than done. but you just gotta give it a try. don't waste your time trying to find your true identity. you can just create one as they say "fake it till you make it" :)

as i am counting the days... it's only 176 days left before we're going to sit for our IB Exam >_< if you think that's a lot of days left, then think again. with all the assignments due next week & all the studying we need to do for the semester exam. it would be a complete lie if i say everyone is handling it so well :) smiling and anticipating for the semester to end happily :) lol! break downs everywhere tho.. donno if the guys are facing this too, but in less then a week i've been seeing girls crying everywhere lol sleeping at 4 in the morning? it's a common thing now.


whatever hardships you're facing.. just keep going.. don't stop now because we're more than half-way there.. in less then 6 months everything is gonna be over.. our college life i mean. no more differentiating the A-Levels or the IB kids. no more those #ibsurviving hashtags. when you feel like giving up, instead of seeing how much more work left to get done look at how far you've gotten. how many friends you've made. how many memories you've created. if you don't have any or don't have many, don't worry you still got time ^^ the last time i scribbled on my paper saying "i'm dumb!" "i can't do math!" the lecturer told me; "it's okay, take it slow we have 4 months together before your exam, we can do this.. no need to rush.. don't worry, slowly we can solve it. together."

i don't even know how to rate my math tho.. lol seriously, i just dislike doing it.. but her words. when she said together. it made me realise, instead of trying to solve all your problems on your own, why don't you solve it together. whatever things that you can do together with your friends, classmates, course mate whatever.. try doing it together. that's how important having each other is. how important having friends is. instead of just talking bad behind each others back, wasting your time thinking off how to keep putting people down. why don't you hold hands & help each other. True friends are hard to find? instead of searching for one why don't we start being one :) besides, we always have the best helper with us, Him, Allah. :) So;



okehhh.. now i'm hungry bhahahaha goodluck gaiss! :) heads up. don't give up. keep going. ^^

messed up week i guess.. i really need to apologize to everyone especially the ones around me.. since the starting of this college's action week i've been hating everything.. >_< i just donno whyy.. just felt tired with everything.. during that busy-hellish action week everyone is super busy doing the best for their teammates while i've been skipping & avoiding all the works most of the time... i know i'm being freaking selfish but i'm just too tired.. it seems like an excuse because it really is..


do you know that feeling when you're just so pissed that you can't even take things as jokes anymore? i'm in that phase noww seriously, something is just so wrong with me... radiating negative vibes are so not me.. or is it actually the real me? i can't even call this mood swing anymore because if it is, my mood is not even swinging with the right pace tho.. it's a roller coaster ride now..

this night only i've been feeling so wrong, embarrassed, fooled, sick, tired.. dude my mental breakdown is no joke these days..... i'm even feeling like my confidence level keeps decreasing.. insecurities are increasing... i just donno anymore.. maybe it's a signal that i'm drifting away from Him.. really need to get my senses back together and seek for His help.. Allah will always be there to hear us out right? :)

that's enough i think.. been writing a lot of craps.. whatever.. just want to remind you all that people have limits.. i'm not emotionless tho.. i'm sorry.. i know most of it is meant as a joke.. but there's still limits in jokes bruhh.. but whatever i'm immune to all these sick feelings.. do whatever you want i'm okay with it.. in the end i'll be able to stand on my two feet back... give me your best shot.. don't worry of i'm being mad :) because in the end i won't blame others for this.. i blame myself.. so yeah, i'm not mad tho.. hahaha i just want to share what i've been feeling.. loll have fun living life guys.. remember to always brace yourself with all the ups & down.. :) i'm trying to live a life here.. guess this is one of my down moments hahahaha bye.. xD trust me i'll be completely fine the next day :)))

As usual long time no write any post.. haha.. its not that I'm not in the mood to write but I wish that the words would be typed out automatically the moment I only thought of it.. just too lazy to do anything.. lol & my laziness is killing me these days.. yeah just gonna spread all my negative vibes here so bare with it if you're going to read.. >_<

Sorry to disappoint HAHA and again another post that is full of flaws so you may kindly go blog walking to another blog if you're expecting a post full of motivation and inspiration :) bcos I don't think you'll get any here... today is just a bad day since my so called guy-phobia just strikes whenever it wants nowadays.. >_< don't ask what's guy-phobia cos I don't feel like explaining go search on my previous post.. btw its a phobia that I name it myself so don't go Google it HAHA

About to study Chemistry but suddenly felt like writing this entry, HAHA thinking that someone might be having a hard time.... me that is lol well everyone went through hard times but I think its a matter of how we handle it. Tbh, I'm not really in the right position of giving out good advises since I'm confused of myself too HAHA but it doesn't hurt to give some right?

Trying hard to endure everything but just not in my best mood today =_=" this entry is just full of disappointments so if you expect any good advice here you can just stop reading here & move on to the next blog :)) sorry. in just like 24 hours I had almost four mental breakdowns HAHA in other words I'M SCREWED ^_^

Back in college!! & I'm writing this because I'm stuck with my Math =_=" OKAY Math is just not my thing... studying alone is a BIG MISTAKE I've been whatsapp-ing people for help........ but no one replied which at this rate I might even die without people noticing me ;A;



It's just the second week of the 2nd semester & I'm loaded with tooooooooons of work do you people feeel me??? T^T I've been questioning myself in the first sem why the hackk do I take this IB thing?! and still... questioning myself HAHA but I'm trying to fit in here...

You see... I have trust issues & still do and when I'm here I'm trying to put back my trust to the people who really cared for me . I'm very grateful and thankful for my roommates and my friends it has been a really wonderful friendship in this college but after I got my semester one result that is only 28 points out of 42 points & the min. qualifications for an IB student is actually 35 to flyy I REALIZED.....